With Clear Gone It's Back to the Ménage a Tois of Cellular Technocrats and No More Mini-Series

Now that I have TMobile Unlimited Data ($39.99/month+taxes), the wiPhone has reached version 4.0. Theoretically, it’s like 3.0 but minus the mobile hotspot device and allegedly better service. On the phone these guys are pretty great except that they have a nasty habit of hanging up on me.

Point 1, iteration 3 (see previous post for prior iterations): If you’re a telecom, let your customers communicate with you, ideally, in an easy, non-infuriating way.

The Ordeal:

All I wanted to do was buy a service plan from TMobile and it took, as a conservative estimate, 3 hours. I wish this were a hyperbole. The most excruciating part of this sales attempt was that each time I was seemingly only moments from completing the endeavor. The 1^st hang-up came when I was placed on hold by a rep. The 2^nd hang-up occurred during the very next call’s interdepartmental transfer. Keep in mind that after each hang-up there’s another 11 minute waiting for the next representative before the journey continues. I’m convinced that these telecommunists aren’t really that busy. It’s just the same 10 customers who keep calling back, retelling their ever engorging circumstance, being hung up, and then getting back in line, on hold or otherwise.

By the third rep I begged for a number I could call back after the coming disconnect so I could avoid the psychological voodoo doll that is listening to low-fi, background-pop music that is periodically interrupted by little timesaving tips. Of course, they have no direct line. Instead she took my number and promised to call me back if I was dropped. This raises a good point: Why is it that telecoms are so hard to get a hold of? Point 1, etc. You’d think that, given communication is THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS that they’d have this figured out by now. The rep described the situation on her end: whenever a call ends, the very next one is phoned through. I imagined Goya’s May 3^rd Massacre.

She did wait on the line with me during the transfer and the next guy almost got me going but because I didn’t have a new sim card, I couldn’t be activated. The reason for the new sim was, he said, to use the 3G recently acquired by TMobile. Here’s a partial lie on his behalf, or on behalf of TMobile. 3G doesn’t fully work on TMobile with the iPhone. I’ve read in many places that it doesn’t fully work at all, having 3G download but not upload speeds…something to do with the frequencies they won at an FCC auction.

The 3G disparity is a glitch for the wiPhone. I need at least 3G for VOIP (Skype) to work. I soon learned that Skype would be relegated to my wifi world and I would have to make a decision between voice or data exchange. I returned to the initial questions of whyPhone [sic]:

-What’s the point of having the ability to call everywhere?

-What do I have to say that’s so important?

These musings will manifest a continuance into the next wiPhone installment.

P.S. Fuck AT&T. Here’s why: they summarize everything that is despicable about telecommunists and they do it an unethical manner.

Case Study: I dropped TMobile to get AT&T for the roadtrip (prior to the userland jailbreakme.com). TMobile allowed me to reactivate without an activation fee because I had not been gone for 90 days. This was promised to me from AT&T as well but two reps in a row broke that promise and my telecom heart. Basically, I was trying to get my number (775) back from AT&T and have it ported to my newly activated TMobile account. But because it wasn’t an ‘active number’ it couldn’t be ported. No one was using it at AT&T, but it must be active to be ported. This made no sense to me. I had a TMobile customer service describe it to the best of his ability and knowledge. Telecoms buy numbers from the FCC, which is allegedly why there is an activation fee. After you deactivate a number, it remains in that companies pool for 90 days, ostensibly for you to return and maybe even be attracted by the fact that you don’t have pay an activation fee with that carrier. After the 90 days, the number leaves that pool and goes who knows where. So, for me to get my number back, TMobile recommended I re-activate my account with AT&T, since it should be free of activation fee being in that 90 day period, then have it ported to TMobile. Well, I called AT&T and they tell me that there is a fee for getting my number back that is coincidentally the exact same price of an activation fee with a new number. Strangely, they actually refer to this fee as an activation fee. Imagine that.